It’s well past 1 am, and I haven’t been able to sleep. Today was not the easiest of days….
I can think of about a million things I need to do right now , but for some reason, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I write. I know New York is going to be amazing for me in that way, it inspires me in every way, especially writing.
I went to church tonight at Hillsong NYC in midtown Manhattan, and met some great new friends. The worship and message being given really hit me hard and convicted me to write and share my thoughts. As I was listening, I kept getting this prompting to share how it had impacted me, I told my myself I’d consider blogging about it. But, it wasn’t until the end of the service that the pastor said something about it “being useless unless we SHARE the message with others” and I was convicted…all I was thinking about on the train ride home was, I need to go home and WRITE!
With that said, how are you feeling right now in this moment? Are you heartbroken…Lonely…worried about finances..scared of the future…ashamed of something you did or said…feeling defeated…angry with something or someone? Well, I can say I’ve felt all these things and more over the past week. I’ve only been in New York one week and I’m excited for what’s ahead, but also trying to adjust to all the drastic changes and my new life here!
I am doing the best I can to trust that God will provide for my needs, and help guide me on the path that he wants me. I know it’s not going to be easy, but nothing rewarding is ever easy.
Tonight, as I went into Hillsong to worship, I was feeling very broken. I’ve had a lot of disappointments recently. The message tonight was HE can RESTORE it ALL. No matter how deep our pain is, how broken hearted we feel, how lost or far off track we’ve gotten, through him, we can be made NEW again, our slate wiped completely clean. And, it is NEVER too late. God is not only ABLE to completely heal us from our pain and hurt, he is WILLING. It doesn’t matter how bad, how lost, how many times we have sinned …he’s GOT us. That is so reassuring; to know that there is a God who LOVE is so powerful, so unconditional, that all we have to do is ask him and we have restoration.
I will admit, as a single, independent woman I find a lot of disappointments in my life come from men. I am not saying that men are bad or anyone for that matter is bad…I’m simply saying that as humans, we disappoint each other, we don’t live up to each others expectations, and we hurt each other and after a while of repeated hurt you begin to lose hope and become hardened to trusting others. But, being reminded that God’s Love is the only unfailing Love gives me peace and restores my hope…He is the only one who can fill that void in our heart that no other person or thing can possibly ever fill!
I believe that my best is yet to come, I believe that YOUR best is yet to come. It is never too late to turn things around, start clean… be restored , and start new. Because He’s completely got you. And, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve done wrong, HIS Love is absolutely unconditional, and unlike anything else in this life…it is the one thing I can be CERTAIN of and ALWAYS trust and count on. He’s GOT me. HE will carry me through any tough time I am going through.
That said, I know I’m in New York for a reason, it’s been on my heart and I feel more inspired here than anywhere else I’ve ever been!! However, just even within one week I’m reminded that in New York more than anywhere else I’ve been it is very apparent to me that sin and brokenness is all around. Everyone is hurting. We all have a past, and scars, insecurities and pain. But something the pastor said tonight was, “your clean is contagious…GREATER is God within you than the culture around you.” That gives me so much peace! What a beautiful, amazing thing knowing that Jesus lives within me through the holy spirit, his power to make me clean, make me whole…can help others. And, knowing that gives me purpose. I am here for a reason, and so are you! You NEVER know what someone is going through, and a simple smile, or kind gesture, or just listening to someone can make a huge difference in their life!
So, no matter what you have going on in your life right now, how bad your hurting, how lonely you are, how scared or lost you feel…know that God’s Love is unfailing, and he WANTS you to turn to him. Not only is he ABLE to heal you of your hurt, he WANTS to! Maybe you’re reading this and have never prayed before, try it. Tell Him what you need and how you feel.
Wishing you all an amazing week! LOVE YOU!