I will start off by telling you about my day because it is what brought about all these deep thoughts I’m about to disclose. I woke up thrilled to spend time with my 2 nephews, my sister and my mom, my dad was sick unfortunately. I got to spend some quality time with them and I was overwhelmed with joy when the words, “When are you coming back?” came out of my oldest nephews mouth. My heart melted and I looked at him and told him, “very soon, ok?!” His sweet response was,
“well it has to be this weekend on Saturday or Sunday because the other days I will be in school. ”
I could have cried it made me so happy to hear him say that. Was he actually saying he wanted to see me again soon, and that he wanted to spend time with me??!!??!?!? He’s 5. This all came after my sister had just got done telling me that the only way she got my other nephew (who’s 4) to smile the other day for a picture was to tell him that she was taking a picture to send to me, “Auntie Lauren”. 🙂
God hasn’t had it in my plans for me to have children at this point in my life and I’m ok with that for now, because I know he has other plans for me. But, I feel absolutely blessed to have nephews who want to spend time with me. So, on my car ride back home tonight, I felt a little sad because I realized in just a few short weeks I won’t live as close to my sweet little nephews, and sister, and mom, and dad and brother, and sister in law, and all the wonderful friends I have in my life.
This brings me to my next point and something I haven’t talked about yet. I’M MOVING BACK TO NEW YORK!!!! Yes, it is definite. I don’t have a place to live yet, but I will figure it out, and I am certain in my heart about this happening. And, now that I am declaring it on my blog it has to happen. lol. I have been thinking about moving back to New York since I left 6 years ago. And, now the timing feels right and things seem to be falling into place. It’s time for me to move forward and to move on and New York, well…it’s calling me. I took this year to really try to process some things that have happened, to travel, to learn as much as I can and make sure that New York was really where I felt like I needed to be. And, it is. I’m SO excited.
But, with all that excitement comes a little uneasiness because with such a huge change I know there is certain to be some difficult things ahead, but also really rewarding adventures. These past 9 months I have really been shown who my close friends are, who my loved ones are, and I have tried to be as open and honest with the people I love and care about to let them know how much they really mean to me. Because I’ve had all this growth , I’ve gotten closer with many people and my relationships have really developed, and now…I’m leaving. The fact that I am leaving so many people I love so much and know that I won’t see them nearly as often is really hard. But, I also know that these people who are in my life who really love and care about me, will always be there, no matter where I’m living or traveling to. So, I’ve decided to let it all go… and go after my dreams. I know at the end of the day it’s only going to make me stronger than I already am.
Lastly, I just want to say how amazed I am at God’s timing. I get so anxious worrying about how everything is going to work out but things ALWAYS fall into place. They really do. HE always takes care of me. You may be going through the most difficult time right now, but as time goes on you will soon realize, why that all took place, why you had to go through it to get where you are now, and how it was preparing you for something even greater; a bigger picture than you could ever imagine. Hold on and don’t lose hope.
I’ve never believed in allowing myself to get too comfortable… I’m addicted to the energy that New York Life brings me. I saw this quote and they couldn’t be more true to me. “There is an inherent energy in NYC that it’s famous for; it makes you want to get up and do a million things all day and stay up all night.” I want that again…
Thank you all for reading this post. I appreciate you who take the time to read the things I write. I’m so excited to see what the future holds for me in New York (Round 2) and I am certain that there are great things to come.
These verses give me so much peace.
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though I may stumble , I will not fall, for the Lord directs me by his hand. ” Psalm 37:23-24
“God is within her, she will not fall; He will help her at break of every new day.”